What did he say?
by Blahsblah2001
Summary: Everyone knows the old spell for getting characters out of the TV, but WHY OH WHY did they have to use the subbed version? Completed.
1. The spell

After reading a lot of Inuyasha fanfiction ranging from the brillaint to the downright brain-tumor-causing, I have picked up on kind of a trend, and I am bound by the ineffable laws of the Fanwrieteir-bakeane (A text discovered in a dilapidated church of Fanfic-writers by the oldest and most ancient of our kind) to parody you all within an inch of your lives. I mean no disrespect, well, a little disrespect, it's a parody, but if you can't laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?

I own the incarnate of nothing. He lives in my closet, so I can't keep my shoes in there anymore.

The three of them had been friends since… forever. Kiki, Molly, and Samantha had all their classes together, and when they weren't at each other's houses, they were talking online, or maybe watching TV. (With periodic phone calls to make sure they were all watching the same thing.)

Molly was the Bookworm. She knew everything about everything. Whether it be generals in the Korean war or the exact line in the fourth panel of the sixth page of the third Hellsing book, she was a veritable compendium of knowledge. She even knows what he word compendium means.

Kiki was the Hyper One. She's not allowed to have sugar anymore, after she drank those five sodas as the LA Anime convention. That little debacle led to six restraining orders and is part of the reason she's not allowed out of the country anymore. (they live in Canada, by the way)

Samantha (Or Sam, to those she liked) was the Scary One. She didn't dress super-goth or anything, but she still got most of the hall to herself when she walked down it. She could pretty much make people do what she wanted, because her voice made people fear for their very lives. An asset to be valued, that.

The three of them were their own personal clique. They had all of the exact same interests, and if you didn't know better, you could swear they were three exact copies of some fangirl author in different bodies.

At the point where our story begins, they were all riding the bus home from the very last day of school that year. Through some impossible means they had contrived to get all three of them into one bus seat.

"Glad that's over," Sam said, leaning back and zoning out.

"I liked it," said Kiki. She was rummaging through her backpack, alternating between looking out the window and searching desperately for something.

"What are you doing, Kiki?" Molly asked.

"Wait until you see what I have, it came in the mail yesterday. It's in here somewhere…"

"Ooh, what is it?"

"I'll give you a clue. It's anime."

All three of them loved anime, Manga, doujinshi, whatever they could get their hands on. Of course the one anime/manga they loved the most was…

"Taa-daa! The third Inuyasha movie, newly dubbed and ready for viewing!"

"We can watch it at my sleepover tonight!"

"Yaaaaaay!" the two of them said together. Sam didn't join in the yaaaaying. Instead she looked at the exaggerated action pose on the cover of the DVD. She had an Idea, one she thought just might work.

"I might be a little late, okay? I have some research I need to do."

"Research?" Kiki asked.

"On what?" Molly added. "School's over. Ask me, I probably know anyway."

"Do you know anything about spells?"

"Um… no."

"Then I shall have to resort to the internet."

"Okay… but don't be too late, we don't want to start without you!"

Samantha pored over gigabytes of data, watching as they flashed over her screen. A normal person wouldn't be able to pick out more than random words, but she could read much faster than a normal person. The words to ancient spells flashed in long-forgotten languages, but she wasn't interested in those. She needed something more… modern.

In a scary scene right out of a horror story, the moniter of her computer glowed crimson, setting an eerie glow about her darkened walls.

"Finally," she breathed. She read the words on the screen, and, almost instantly forgetting them, printed the whole page of instructions. She looked at the clock. It was almost 8:00. Perfect. She grabbed the pages of the manuscript out of the printer and hurried across the street to Molly's house. (They all live close to each other, as per storybook-best- friend guidelines)

She let herself in and ran upstairs to Molly's bedroom, where Kiki and Molly were waiting for her.

"All right, we can finally watch the movie!" Kiki squealed.

"Start it, I have something to show you. Look at this spell I found online."

As the opening credits of the movies played the three of them looked at the printed sheets of paper.

"Wait," Molly said slowly, "If this is what I think it is, and I think it is what I think it is, then this is a spell for getting a character out of a movie and INTO MY HOUSE."

"Right," Sam said, nodding.

"All we have to do is pick which one!"

"I pick Fluffy!" Kiki said.

"I pick life," Molly and Sam said together.

"How about Miroku? I like him," Sam said.

"But I doubt my mom would like me having him in my bedroom," Molly pointed out.

"So how about Inuyasha?" Kiki put in. "He's as cute as Miroku AND he's part demon."

"Demons are cool," they said together.

"Inuyasha it is. How do we do the spell?"

"Okay, so we just have to darken the room, light a candle, and say these words. When we blow out the candle, he'll be in the room with us!"

"I'll get the candle."

Molly left and returned a minute later with a small votive. They lit it, being careful not to put it near anything flammable.

"These are the words we have to say," Molly pointed out.

Haltingly, as they tried to make out how the words were pronounced, they started to chant.

"egami no tavisonu Inuyasha approaru des sortoson, manepernte!"

Something clicked. Molly held up a tape recorder.

"We might need those again."

"We're gonna blow out the candle when it starts, okay?"

The screen filled with a bright white. As they watched, a few drops of blood-red liquid fell onto the sand.

"On three… one…"

The screen changed to more blood, this time dripping down the gauntlet-ed hand of someone off-screen.

"two… THREE!"

The words of a male voice speaking were temporarily drowned out by the three of them extinguishing the tiny votive's flame.

The room was plunged into darkness, the only light coming from the TV. The picture had changed.

"Sesshie!" Kiki squealed, her mind completely absorbed by the image on the screen.

"Tomeru ka, Sesshoumaru?"

"That sounds incredibly ominous," Molly said, turning on the light. The room was the same as it had been, the lack of Inuyasha slightly disappointing but not altogether surprising.

"What's wrong with the sound?" Kiki asked. "I can't hear Sesshie!"

"I think we've got it on the wrong setting, it's playing in Japanese."

"Why?" Kiki asked, with a childlike amount of innocence. "I don't understand Japanese."

"Neither do I, it's just an accident, look, we'll change-"

CRASH!

The noise echoed up the stairs, and the three girls gave each other scared looks.

"Molly, please tell me your parents are home?" Sam almost begged.

"No, they went out to a movie."

"Then what was that?"

A similar thought ran through the three heads at one: He's downstairs.

But they ignored it.

"Come on, we have to find out what it was," Sam said, leading the way. They walked single- file down the stairs.

"I think it came from the living room," Kiki whispered. The door to the living room was three- quarters closed, and there was definitely something behind it, moving. Sam tentatively went to push it open, but Kiki beat her to it, barreling right through the door, and into the person standing behind it.

"Sesshie!" Kiki yelled, wrapping her arms around a definitely non-Sesshie guy.

"N-nani!"

"Oh my god, it's Inuyasha.

"Oh my god, he's in my house.

"Oh my god, I need the video camera."

Kiki disentangled herself from a very pissed-looking hanyou. (not that being pissed was anything new to him)

"Wait a minute," Molly said. "Isn't nani the Japanese word for what?"

"Aww… it's not Sesshoumaru," Kiki said sadly. Inuyasha visibly stiffened at the sound of his brother's name. His right hand strayed to the blade of the tessaiga, a very bad thing to be released inside Molly's domestic home.

"This is so very bad," Molly whispered.

"What's bad?" Kiki and Sam asked. Molly pointed at Inuyasha.

"Say something," she commanded.

He did.

What did he say?

I have no Idea.

I don't speak Japanese any better than they do.

Yay, end of chappie 1. Tell me what you think, or if there's anything else that needs parodying, or even if you want more written.

I almost forgot. This chappie dedicated to my friend/enemy Briaunna, who got her tongue pierced. See hath a thpeech immpediment, now.

By the way, it's so cold in my house my fingers are actually numb, so pardon any spelling mistakes I made, K?


	2. NANI?

Oh, I forgot to mention, I don't own Inuyasha, Romiko- sensei does. YOU know what's a funny word? Glomp. Whenever I hear that word I think of a huge chunk of jello falling on top of some hapless bishie.

"What, doesn't he speak English?" Sam asked.

"I guess not. He's the incarnation of a picture from the television. If it spoke Japanese, logically, he should, too."

"Do you have any ramen?" Kiki called from the kitchen.

"How can you think of food at a time like this? We've done something seriously wrong here!"

"It's not for her, it's for him," Molly explained. "Maybe it'll keep him occupied until we figure out what we're gonna do."

"Oh."

"There's ramen above the microwave. Get a chair, don't climb onto the counter."

"Does anyone we know speak Japanese?"

"I can't find- oh, wait, here it is." Kiki was making loud noises in the kitchen. Molly tried not to wince. "Chicken or beef?" She asked.

"He can't understand you, Kiki."

"I know." She held out two packages to the hanyou, one in each hand. As she tried to explain to him that he could only pick one, Molly and Sam went back to talking.

"I don't think we know any one, except maybe people online."

"I know a few words."

"Like what?"

"Um… seven… demon, ogre, half- demon, human, circle…"

"Anything that isn't a noun?"

Sam grinned.

"Osuwari."

Kiki laughed as Inuyasha jumped, then glared at Sam.

"Well, duh, everybody knows that one."

"Well, maybe if we got someone else from the show… who would speak English and Japanese?"

"I don't think anyone."

"Well, what if we got two of someone?" Kiki asked, showing a momentary flash of brilliance. "Like Kikyo, or something. Maybe they cold understand each other?"

"I think our main concern right now is maybe putting him back, not getting more."

"By the way, Sam asked, looking around. "Where'd he go?"

"He watching the ramen go around in the microwave."

"Don't microwaves give you cancer or something?"

"Ah, he's a hanyou, he can deal with it." Sam was looking through the kitchen door at the transfixed boy. "Something's weird here, though. This whole situation reeks of fanfiction."

"No way." Molly counted off on her fingers. "We're not speaking l337 or chat script. There's no ungodly long breaks in the story while descriptions of clothes are given. We don't speak Japanese words at random. There's no obvious romantic preference. And, finally, none of us have any power over him that would allow us to glomp him at will."

"You're right, definitely not a fanfiction," Kiki echoed.

"Too bad about that last one, though," Sam added, evoking strange looks from her friends. "What? I'm just kidding! Still, I really think it might be-"

The microwave beeped loudly. Inuyasha, who was about an inch from the high-pitched sound, jumped back, holding onto his ears. Kiki disappeared into the kitchen.

"Oh, and none of us have rubbed those things."

"Yup, definitely not a fanfiction."

"Anyway, who should we get to help us?"

"Sango, probably. She seems like the most level- headed," Molly advised.

"No way. She and Inuyasha have said like three things to each other in the whole series."

"Miroku?"

"He'd be too busy trying to get us to bear his children to notice we have a problem."

"Kikyo?"

"She's be completely passive about it. The two of her would go off and angst about being dead and how Inuyasha doesn't love her anymore."

"… Shippo?

"They'd just fight."

"What-"

"Ditto for Koga. Come on, Kagome's the only one who'll work here. Admit it and let's get to work!"

"Fine," Molly grumbled. "Let's get this over with."

Kiki poured the steaming noodles out of the measuring cup and into a bowl. Inuyasha was watching her. She couldn't understand his words, but she could read his look.

I can do it myself, you know.>

"You remind me of my little brother," She told him. "Only you're taller than me."

The look changed.

I don't understand you.>

Oh wait, it's Inuyasha, so more like,

What the hell are you talking about?>

"Ramen, a la Kiki!" she announced, handing over the plastic bowl.

"Arigato," he mumbled.

"Ooh! I understood that! Arigato is thanks." She stopped. "Have you ever said that to anyone? I don't think you even tell Kagome thanks."

Blank stare.

"I don't know many words, but I have to watch subs a lot, they come out sooner than dubs, you know, so I know some words."

Continuation of the stare.

"I know, um, youkai, ningen, nin, arigato, connichiwa-"

You're talking nonsense, girl.>

"I should shut up, huh?" Kiki looked sad for a second. "Yeah, I get that a lot."

Kiki sat down on one of the kitchen chairs, facing the same way as Inuyasha.

There was actual silence for a few seconds.

"My name's Kiki, by the way."

"Kikibai."

"Yeah, that works, too. I know you already. You're Inuyasha the hanyou."

Inuyasha focused on the rapidly disappearing noodles.

"Don't worry, none of us cares if you're not a youkai. We love you anyway. Oh, yeah. I know that, too. Love is ai. Like shounen ai."

Inuyasha gave her a funny look.

"Hey!" someone called from upstairs. "Is Kagome down there?"

"Kagome?" Inuyasha knew that word, even if the pronunciation was way off.

"I don't think so!" Kiki called back.

Since Inuyasha had appeared in the living room, Kagome should be there, too, right?

For some reason the door was shut again, and Kiki went to open it… just as it was opened from the other side. It hit Kiki right on the head, and she fell backwards.

"Gomen!" A voice cried. A rather familiar voice. Kiki opened her eyes… and looked right into her own face.

The two of them screamed together.

Across the pacific ocean, a pair of eyes snapped open.

Something is very wrong… >

This chapter dedicated to whoever reviews.


	3. 3 Kikis

It just occurred to me that I had a fourteen year old girl dig up a trans- dimensional spell on the internet in less than six hours, and nobody thought this was weird. The interenet is a wonderful thing.

(Disclaimer: The things I don't own include but are not limited to: Beachfront property, tar shingles, Blue nail polish, diamond drill bits, the rights to Inuyasha, the moon, and the planet mars.)

* * *

"Aaaaaaaiiiiiiieeeee!" Three identical voices shrieked at once. 

"What? Are they down there?" Sam and Molly came running down the stairs. The sight they saw stopped them dead.

"There's… three Kikis," Sam breathed, horrified.

Two of the Kikis looked exactly the same, and were dressed in the same clothes: a green and white fuku. The third one was still dressed in Kiki's happy bunny pajamas.

"K- Kagome?" Inuyasha asked rather slowly.

"Why does Kagome look like Kiki?"

"And why haven't we noticed this before?" Sam added.

"Um… where are we?" one of the Kagome's asked.

"Where were you?"

"I was riding my bike into Kaede's village, why?"

"That's what was playing on the screen while we were saying the incantation," Molly said slowly. "Which means, logically, you're not there anymore."

The three fangirls got very white.

"We've… drastically altered the timeline of the movie." Sam whispered. "This could throw off the entire series! Oh, we are so incredibly dead!"

"Not really," Molly put in suddenly. We don't know that they're gone from all the movies. Plus, it's just movieverse, it can't alter the rest of the series."

"But stiiiiiiilll," Kiki whined.

"So we came from a TV, then, I guess. Right?" Kagome asked.

"Um… oh, yeah."

"That… really weird," the other Kagome put in.

"Wait, you speak English?" Sam asked.

"A bit. I learn in middle school."

"BUT WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE ME?" Kiki wailed.

"Maybe you look like me, did that ever occur to you?" Kagome said. The Japanese Kagome was trying to translate in her head, and was therefore a second or two behind everyone else.

"I can't look like you, I was here first!"

"What year were you born?"

"1990!"

"!989, hah!"

"EL WRONGO! The first copyright date of Inuyasha was 1996, which means I beat you by six years, easy."

"Copyright date? Um… what universe do you people live in where guys have copyright dates?"

"He wants to know why you know his name," The Japanese Kagome said, gesturing at the clueless hanyou."

"Tell him we're his biggest fans," Kiki shot at her.

"Um, that may not go over so well," Molly started.

"SHIKON NO TAMA!" Sam screamed. There was instant silence as everyone stared wide- eyed at her.

/What about it/ Inuyasha asked. Kagome translated.

"Nothing, I just figured that'd make you guys quiet for one second. Now, let me explain things. You," she said, pointing at the Japanese Kagome, "Tell me if you need anything reworded, and I'll do my best. Okay, here it goes. In our dimension here, yours is a TV show. Plus a comic book and a whole line of neat-o toys and stuff. You're very popular. Particularly you and your brother, Inuyasha. The fanfiction is unbeleiveable. Anyway, we thought it would be cool to bring you guys from your dimension to ours. We started with him. Only problem is, he speaks Japanese and we don't. So we thought you two might be able to understand each other. So we brought you. Everybody clear?"

"Well that was blunt," Molly said.

"But it gets the job done."

"He wants to know why you pick him," Kagome said.

"Well _I _wanted to bring Sesshie, but these guys wanted to _live_, or something dumb like that," Kiki whined.

"Who's Sesshie?" Kagome asked while the other was translating.

"Sesshoumaru," Kiki said off- handedly.

"You call him that?" Kagome squeaked. "You know he'd kill you if you said that to his face, right?"

"That's what _they_ always say," Kiki grouched. "Anyway, after Sesshie, he was the next cutest guy. Except maybe Miroku, but we didn't really feel like bearing any children, so we skipped him."

"Permission not to translate," Kagome asked.

"Why?"

"Well, imagine what would happen if you tell him that his hated half- brother was better looking than him," Kagome said.

Visions of destruction danced in the head of the five girls, while Inuyasha waited impatiently to be let on to what they were looking so scared of, and why his damn brother's name kept coming up.

"Well, as fun as this has been, really, we have to be getting back," Kagome said.

"Um… see, that's kinda where the problem is… see…"

Why does she look like there's something horribly wrong? Inuyasha demanded. Kagome rubbed the back of her neck and grinned. It occurred to the three otakus that they had never seen an actual human do that.

/They don't know how to get us back./

/Shit! Naraku's gonna have a heyday without us around./

/Well, there's nothing we can do/

/Who do these guys even think they are, yanking us out of our own dimension? Dammit/

"He's pissed at you," Kagome relayed back.

"We can tell."

"Well, whoever found this spell, start looking for a counter-spell. Without us, Miroku and Sango are on their own against Naraku."

"And without Inuyasha and Tessaiga… yeah, they're screwed."

"Do you even know the meaning of subtlety?"

"How else would I avoid it so thouroughly?"

"Argh…"

* * *

/I shouldn't be up so late, drawing this dumb comic/ Rumiko told her hands. /If we're gonna be prolific, we should at least work on something related to the storyline./ 

The hands didn't listen, just went on drawing. The comic they drew was just a rough sketch, the lines in shorthand. It was almost as if someone were dictating a letter and she was writing it down… only they were dictating a story and she was drawing it.

/Who the heck even are these three? They're definitely not my characters. They're too lame./

The hands traced out another panel, and Rumiko realized that she didn't even know what it was until it was halfway done. Her hands were definitely doing this on her own.

/So whatever it is, I can't predict it. Well, might as well watch the show./


	4. The bishie closet

Doo- be- doop de doooop….

Okaydoke, to the less observent members of the audience who may not have picked this up/things in slashes/ are spoken in Japanese. Things in /"slashes and quotations"/ are said and then translated. (I don't feel like typing them twice.)

This chapter is dedicated to The Anti- Kikyo. Cheers, waaaii! No, I wasn't high, sorry to disappoint you. (The scary thing is I don't even need to be.)

To Kitsune Ryune: Yeah, a lot of that happens in the Jhonen Vasquez section. Oh, and the kanji or whatever shows up on the review board but not on my email. Kewl.

* * *

/So now what do we do/

/How the hell should I know/

"Geez," Sam said, looking over her shoulder at the two who were talking, "I don't even speak the language and I can figure out what they're talking about."

"Aw, leave them alone," Molly said. "It's really our fault they're in such a mess."

"Yes, it is," Kagome agreed. She was looking jealously at where the other Kagome was sitting with Inuyasha. At least when he was ignoring her for Kikyo there was _something_ there.

"Oh, be quiet, you."

"I made popcorn!" Kiki said, emerging from the kitchen. The faint smell of smoke wafted out with her. "Apparently you can't make the microwave kind on the stove, so… yeah, that didn't work well."

She looked around the room. Kagome and Inuyasha were sitting away from the rest, talking softly. Well, Kagome was talking softly. Inuyasha was talking a bit louder, with the occasional blunt remark aimed at the other three. Sam, Molly, and Kagome were crowded around the computer screen, searching fruitlessly for the counter- spell.

If you tried to cut the tension with a knife, the knife would probably… well, it wouldn't work.

"Geez, how many bags did you _make_?" Sam said, staring at the three huge bowls of white snacks.

"Five," Kiki said matter- of- factly. She handed one of the bowls to Inuyasha and carried the other two to the computer. "So what's up?"

"Well, we found the website where I found the spell."

"Howdja do dat?" Kiki asked, her mouth full of popcorn.

"It's printed on the spell page I made."

"Cool."

"Anyway, it's still there, only it's blank. The host page is dead, too. Just, totally dead."

"We ran a google for the spell words,"

"Plently of hits,"

"All of which are dead, moved, or nonexistent."

"So it's gone," Kiki summed up.

"Yes."

"But I have good news."

"What?"

"My movie still works."

"What?" Kagome screeched. "How can you even care about that?"

"Well, it means that you're kind of like branch- offs from your real selves."

"Rehh?"

"Like copying a computer program to a floppy disk. It can go out and do stuff on it's own, and the parent program still does it's job," Molly explained. The other three stared uncomprehendingly. She sighed. "The story line is not altered."

"I knew it!" Sam announced. "The only thing that can use (or abuse) characters and not alter the story line is fanfiction!"

"Yes, yes, you're very smart," Molly mumbled.

"So we're in a fanfiction?" Kagome said, wide- eyed.

"What fanfiction?" The other asked, suddenly joining the conversation.

"Doujinshi, only written instead of drawn," Molly explained.

"Ah."

"That's really weird!"

"But we have a bigger problem," Kiki put in.

"What? What could possibly be worse than this?" Kagome asked. She was feeling rather unhappy just then, which kind of accounted for the sudden snappyness.

"I'm getting yelled at in my voice by a face that looks like mine," Kiki mused. "That does not happen very often."

"So what's our _problem_?" Sam asked. Kiki was getting on her nerves.

"Oh, yeah. Your parents are gonna be home in like, two minutes."

"WHAA?"

"So?" Kagome asked.

"My mom'll make all you guys leave!"

"So? Anywhere's better than this nuthouse."

"You don't have anywhere."

"So we'll sleep outside. It's not like we don't do it every day."

Kiki walked slowly to the door and pushed it open. This being Canada and all, three feet of snow covered the ground. In their front yard, moose sat in the darkness, eating the grass they could find under the snow.

"Um… we stay here," Kagome said. Inuyasha nodded, looking at the snow with something like abject horror.

"Thought you might," Kiki said. "Come on, we have to get you guys somewhere to sleep."

"I think there's space in my room," Molly said.

The six of them walked up the stairs and into Molly's room- just in time to hear the front door open.

"We're home!"

"Ah! Crap, crap, hide, you guys!"

"/Where/"

"Anywhere!"

The two Kagome's dove under the bed. Kiki pushed Inuyasha into the closet, and had barely got the door closed when the bedroom door opened slowly.

"Are you three still watching that movie?" Molly's mother asked.

"Nope."

"We're watching it again."

"Kids," her mother said, closing the door again. There was silence for a few seconds, and then the sound of the parent's door shutting.

"Phew," Sam and Kiki said together. There were scuffling sounds as the Kagome's tried to work their way out from under the bed. Molly alone was staring at the closet door in horror.

"What's wrong?" Sam asked, noticing.

"Kiki… you put him in the bishie closet," Molly choked out.

"Hey, there's an actual bishounen in the bishie closet!" Kiki squealed.

"Let's just hope he didn't find the plushies," Sam said hoarsely as she inched toward the door. Kiki beat her to it.

"Bishie in the bishie closet!" She squealed. There was a flash as she took a photo.

"Um… where'd you get the camera from?"

"Bishies!"

"/I think I'm gonna be sick/" Inuyasha said, holding out a certain red- clad plushie.

"Aren't they cute? Oh! I know the word for cute! Kawaii!"

"KAWAII!"

Kiki inspected the outheld plushie.

"Nah, that's not as cute as the Sesshie one," Kiki said, producing another familiar figure from within the shrine- filled depths of the bishie closet.

"S- Sesshoumaru?" Inuyasha managed. Then he cracked up laughing, pointing at the ridiculously chibi-fied plushie.

"Yeah, I know, isn't it cute!" Kiki hugged the plushie to her chest. Inuyasha laughed even harder.

"Um, I think he's choking," Kagome said.

"Oh, there's one of you, too!" Kiki said, ignoring Molly's slice- across- the- throat gesture. "But I think Molly sewed it to the Koga one."

"Wha?"

"Nani!"

"Yeah, you guys are her favorite-"

Molly clapped her hand over Kiki's mouth, almost pushing the other girl over in the process.

Inuyasha managed to get a few syllables out between the lingering chuckles.

"/Oh, man… the look on that bastard's face if he… giggle… ever saw that thing./"

"I'll give it to you," Molly offered. "But…"

"/But what? You aren't gonna say something freakishly fangirly, are you/"

The look on Molly's face made the hanyou seriously wonder exactly how badly he wanted to see his brother's expression.

* * *

Romiko stared at the lettering in the latest panel.

/She wants WHAT? Oh, no way does he want anything THAT bad. No way in-/

Grudgingly, but looking hopefully at the plushie, Inuyasha nodded. There was short sketched sequence showing every character in the comic stare in awe and admiration at Molly. Sam and Kiki looked incredibly jealous, while the Kagome's looked closer to murderous.

* * *

"Ooooh! They're all fuzzy!" Molly exclaimed, tweaking furiously.

/I meant once/

"He says you stop now," Kagome said icily.

"Ah, I can die happy." Molly fell back on her bed, a dreamy expression covering her face.

'I get to actually tweak the infamous puppy ears…'

"Well, with her parents in the house," Kagome stated, "there's nothing else we can do tonight. We might as well get some sleep. Because tomorrow… we're GOING BACK HOME!"

"H- hai…" Kiki whimpered.

* * *

/Just when you thought you knew a guy/ Romiko said, re- reading the last page. As she watched, her hand, unbidden, traced out the last panel on the page. The two Kagome's had commandeered the bed, and the three hellfans had sectioned up the floor. Inuyasha, as always, was sitting Indian- style in the corner, facing the door. In the manner of anime characters, they were already asleep.

The pencil dropped.

/What, that's it? Is this fanfiction in real time, or what/

Romiko briefly pondered whether it was actually fanfiction or not. In either case, it was apparently over for the night. She glanced at the clock. It was almost four in the morning.

/Well, the night's shot. I might as well do some more of this…/

This time she controlled the pencil herself as she sketched out the next panel

* * *

Oooh! Rumiko's taking the story into her own hands. So where does this leave ME?

It's my fanficiton, dammit!

No offense to Canada, and it's not really like that. But for humor purposes, it is here.

Anyway, all joking aside, this being the fangirly story, I need some input from any and all fangirls who read this! Here's what I need: Every girl's got their Favorite Inuyasha, Some of us like the human one, some like the demon, some just like the ears. Personally, I just like that white shirt of his. (This is probably from looking too much at fanart from ear- tweak) anywho, let's hear it!


	5. Dimensions, golden girls,and DDR?

Okay, for the 'hottest Inuyasha' poll… we come in dead even, with one human, one hanyou, and one demon. Everybody go recruit your fangirly friends and get them to vote. They don't even have to read the damn thing, just VOTE!

It's not like there aren't enough fangirls out there…

Oh, I own neither Inuyasha (Romiko Takahashi) nor chocolate- covered sugar bombs. (Calvin and Hobbes)

* * *

Six pairs of eyes snapped open in unison.

"I feel really really weird…" Kiki said. She didn't look sick. She looked fine. In fact, she looked overjoyed.

"/I'm hungry/" Inuyasha groaned. "/who's making breakfast/"

"Dibs on not me," the Kagome's said.

"Um…" Molly whispered to her friends, "How are we gonna get my mom to make twice as many pancakes as usual?"

"I dunno," said Sam.

"Let's go to the mall!" Kiki exclaimed.

"Um… how will that fix our problem?" Molly asked.

"I dunno! But I really really think we should do it!"

"What's with the exclamation marks?"

"I dunno!" Kiki said. She still had a super- huge grin plastered on her face, but a bit of panic was beginning to seep in as well.

"/Yeah, you guys have fun with the psycho, I'm going to find food./"

Five girls lunged at the hanyou two seconds before he touched the doorknob.

"You can't go out there!" Molly hissed. "If my mom thinks you spent the night in my room, I'm dead!"

"/I did spend the night in your room./"

/That's not really what she means./

"/Your mom's paranoid./"

"And authoritarian," Molly added.

"MY mom wouldn't care," Sam remarked. Everyone stared at her.

* * *

Five minutes later, fully dressed, everyone climbed out Molly's window. It being morning and all, the snow was completely gone, and it was actually kinda nice out. They walked single- file over to Sam's house, and went right in the front door.

"I'm home!" Sam called.

"Hello, dear. How was the sleepover?"

"Really weird."

"That's nice dear."

"Hey, I've got some anime characters, and they're hungry."

"There's cereal in the cupboard."

Sam opened the cupboard to find that it was full of nothing but her little brother's cereal. Chocolate- covered sugar bombs, to be exact. She shivered in horror as she imagined Inuyasha on that stuff. To her utter petrification, she saw her arm reach for a box of it. She willed it back to her side. It didn't obey. She tried to call out and warn her friends, but no sound would come from her throat.

Grabbing a box, she tossed it to Molly, who gave it to Kiki, who started pouring bowls.

"You guys want milk? I hear they don't have it in Japan."

She got some weird looks for that one. Shrugging, she poured milk over the brown cereal. The milk immediately turned purple.

"/Sweet/"

Sam, meanwhile, was continuing to try to warn her friends about the dangers of actually eating the caffeine- laced cereal, but was having a hard time doing so. Part of the problem was that her body, with no input from her brain at all, was eating it's own bowl of cereal.

?What's going on? she thought desperately.

* * *

(Meanwhile, half a planet away, Rumiko was holding back giggles as she traced out panels. This was going to get _so_ much more complicated, if she had anything to do with it.)

* * *

Molly stared at Sam, who was staring, fascinated, at Kiki, was in turn staring at Inuyasha.

"What are you looking at?"

Sam pointed at Kiki, who pointed at Inuyasha. Or, more specifically, at his right ear, which had developed a rather persistent twitch. He didn't seem to notice. He was slightly more worried by his hands, which were busy drumming tattoos into the kitchen table. The bowls, still slightly purple from the milk, were working their way towards the edge, and certain doom.

"We are never eating my brother's cereal again," Sam said firmly. No one asked where the Kagome's were, as they had broken into song a few minutes ago. They had danced their way down the hall and no one had worked up enough courage to go look for them yet.

"I still wanna take them to the mall!" Kiki said randomly. "Come on, Sam, let's goooo!"

"That won't fix our problem," Molly said, inching away from the twitching hanyou. Unfortunately, this put her closer to Kiki, and THAT didn't make things better, either.

"Maybe it will…" Sam mused, thinking hard. "I think I remember something about a Halloween store that sold magic tricks and stuff. Maybe there's something real?"

"Why haven't we heard of this before?" Kiki asked, regaining her senses for a second.

There was a pause.

"Fanfiction," the three otakus said together. Then, just because they were so strung up on sugar, they burst out laughing. Inuyasha watched them cautiously, one hand inching closer to the tessaiga. The giant blade was a bit of a comfort object, and not annihilating anything in the last twelve hours had made him a bit uneasy.

"So let's go," Sam said, finally recovering from her giggles.

"But first let's find the Kagomes," Molly followed.

"Let's send him to do it," Kiki said, pointing at Inuyasha. "Go find the Kagome's," she told him, pronouncing the name the way the Japanese did. He nodded, and disappeared down the hall. Half an hour later, the six sugar- high teenagers piled into Sam's Mom's minivan, and took off for the mall.

Kiki spent most of the trip watching Inuyasha more.

* * *

"/Okay just… don't touch anything. Not. A. thing./"

The Halloween store was exactly what it sounded like. It was supposed to look like a haunted house, but it clashed with the contemporary look of the walkways outside. The spooky Halloween music was mixed with a tape player blaring hard rock somewhere in the back room. A bored- looking girl dressed as a witch sat behind the counter, watching the only customers in the store.

"We don't sell cosplay stuff," she said, still sounding bored.

"Actually, we were looking for more like magic stuff," Sam explained.

"Magic tricks are in the back corner."

"No, like real magic," Molly added, Kiki and the Kagomes ran off to look at the magic tricks. Inuyasha, not rally knowing how to react to the dozens of Halloween masks lining the walls, just sort of sat and growled at them.

The girl at the counter looked closer to Sam and Molly.

"You guys are too young to be messing with real magic. It isn't something you should just start dabbling in."

"Well, yeah, we know that _now_," Sam groaned. "We need a spell UN done."

"What kinda spell? You guys aren't boys, are you?"

"Um… no."

"Oh, good. It amazing how many times I get teenage girls in here with _that_ problem."

"No, actually, we got some characters out of a TV set and we kinda want to put them back."

"Ha ha, very funny. Yeah, I was actually buying that for a minute."

"No, really. These three are really characters from a TV show. We brought them out last night, and… uh… they want to go home."

"How much for the silly string?" Kiki piped up.

"A dollar a can," the girl said, without really thinking. "You guys are telling me you actually pulled off an interdimensional spell?"

"Yup."

"Okay, no, wait, this can't be happening."

"Why not? What's going on?"

"Where did you even find it?"

"Online, some web page. It's gone now."

"But we still have the words," Molly said, holding up her tape recorder. She hit the replay button and their words played back.

"Yes, I know the words. But you've gotta understand, that's been around since Mickey Mouse was the only fictional character on TV and _nobody's_ ever pulled this off."

"So people try it?"

"All the time. Are you kidding? Every otaku on the planet's tried it."

"So why could we do it and no one else?" Molly said.

"And why did you bring three of the same character, that's what I want to know."

"Three? No there's only two. The two in the same clothes are Kagome, from Inuyasha. The guy with the sword is Inuyasha himself. He doesn't speak English, so we brought the Kagomes to translate."

"So why do those three look exactly the same?"

"We… don't know."

The girl looked from the two worried teens to the boy growling at the masks to the three identical girls having a vicious silly string fight.

"I'm gonna have to get my supervisor," she said simply.

* * *

It was almost five minutes later when she returned from the back room.

"She'll be out in a second," she said. "My name's Katrina, by the way."

"Molly," Molly introduced herself. "And this is Sam, Kiki, Kagomes, and Inuyasha.

The silly- string coated triplets grinned at Katrina. Kiki handed over five bucks for their cans of string.

At that moment, an older woman emerged regally from the back room. She had green eyes and light purple hair, making her look like an anime character herself. She surveyed the scene before her with a touch of distain.

"Of all the anime's, you picked this one," she said tonelessly. Kiki was reminded of Sesshoumaru's heartless manner. Then the woman grinned. "Good choice. Isabel the Golden, at your service."

"Golden?" Kiki asked.

"My parents are from California," Isabel said in a clipped tone. "/So, I understand you three need a spell reversed/"

"Yes," said Molly, and Sam.

"Hai," Kagome and Inuyasha.

The American Kagome and Kiki looked at each other.

"Not yet. We have a score to settle," Kiki said in a hard voice.

"What? Where did this come from?"

"I challenge you!" Kagome responded, pointing a finger at Kiki, her face also hard. "Whoever loses has to admit they stole their face!"

"Deal!"

Kiki grabbed Inuyasha's wrist, and pulled him out the door, the two Kagome's following.

"Wait!" Molly yelled, "Where the heck are you going?"

"Mortal combat!" Kagome yelled back.

"She means DDR!" Kiki corrected. Then they were out of sight, leaving their two companions alone in the Halloween store.

"DDR?" Molly asked.

"Dance Dance revolution," Sam translated. "No fanfiction is complete without it."

"Fanfiction?" Isabel asked.

"Oh, yeah. We're in one, apparently. Everything we do is being dictated by a higher power."

"Like god?"

"Only more otaku-y."

"Right, okay. So, to finish the story and return everything to normal, you need to put these three characters back?"

"Right, and also to keep Inuyasha from killing us."

Inuyasha, hearing his name, looked to Kagome for translations, which she hastily provided.

"Well, in order to find out how to reverse the spell, we have to determine how you cast it. Or, why it worked for you."

"I have a theory," Katrina piped up. All eyes turned to her.

"It's kinda far- fetched, and has to do with all sorts of spooky scientific theory- type stuff."

"I think we can handle it," Kagome said dryly.

"Okydoke, here it goes. Everybody who knows anything knows there's no such thing as fiction. It's just chronicles of alternate dimensions brought to ours. Authors and such are seers who, for some reason, can see the past, or sometimes future happenings in these dimensions."

Kagome was trying to work out what Katrina's words would mean in Japanese. By the look on Inuyasha's face, it was a wasted effort.

"But the authors aren't strong enough, or their bond to the dimensions aren't strong enough, to actually bring a being through into our world. Maybe you three could, because your friend Kiki, in our dimension, really _is_ Kagome."

"That makes a lot of sense," Molly finished. She was, apparently, the only one who thought so.

"Yeah, but it still doesn't fix the problem we have right now," Sam said, covering.

"Well, taking into account the IQ of most fanwriters," Isabel mused with a smile, "It's probably something infinitely simple."

"Like having Kiki say the spell backwards," Sam added, laughing. Everyone else stared at her. She looked disbelievingly back at them.

"Oh, come on. There's no way that would work."

* * *

Back in Japan, Romiko had passed out asleep at her desk. Over twenty pages of sketches scattered across her desk. It would be at lest three hours until someone figured out where she was. But until then, we'll let her sleep….

* * *

Did a large procession

where thier torches

as my head fell in the basket,

and was everybody dancin on the casket...

Now I'm dead and I haven't done

everyhting thatI want,

Or I'm still alive and there's

nothing I want to do...

(Dances randomly at freakish lyrics.)

Okay, there's just gonna be one more chapter after this one, so be happy!

You know the drill, hit the purple button and win ten million in prizes instantly.

(And I still don't own Inuyasha!)


	6. The backwards spell, the end to it all

Well, bad news about you guy's prizes. They were… um…. Stolen. Yeah, that's it. By an evil bandit named Erin Delehanty. I'm putting a five million woolong bounty on her head, but until Spike shows up…. You guys are outta luck.

Oh, and I just figured out after re- reading this that I named both my magicians after hurricanes. (Isabel and Katrina, howzat?)

Despite my apparent (and kinda sporadic) wealth, I still don't own Inuyasha. Sigh.

"Thanks for the help," Sam told the two shopkeepers.

"We wish we could stick around, but we have to go," Molly added. With that, the two of them dashed out of the store after their psychotic friend.

Their search was slowed slightly when they came to the center of the mall. Branches of hallways spread off in five directions. People milled about, some guys were even breakdancing, despite the lack of music. Up on the ceiling, birds were flying in circles, trying to escape through the glass roof.

"Which way did she go?"

"I think the arcade's this way."

"Are you sure?"

"Not at all."

"Well, let's go."

They set off in a random direction, and since random directions always work in cheap fiction, they were not surprised when they came across an arcade. People were either fleeing in huge numbers or trying to push past them to get inside.

"Hmm, mass panic," Sam said dryly.

"Kiki's definitely here, alright," Molly finished.

"Come on. It's one of the showier games so it's probably right in front."

Together they pushed past the crowds of people, almost getting crushed in the process.

"Where did these people even come from?" Sam managed. Molly was about to answer, but her words were lost in a sudden outburst of cheering. The source of the applause was evident.

Kiki and Kagome were playing maniac round, and Kiki was unbeleiveably far ahead. As people began to actually chant her name, Kiki started jumping, adding the bounces to her moves. Sam couldn't help it. She started clapping, too, almost forgetting about their problem as the screens lit up.

Kiki typed in her name, and the screens proudly displayed them in bright neon. As per the rules of competition, five other kids immediately popped up to challenge her, but she only had eyes for Kagome.

"Admit it!" she yelled to her defeated twin. "Admit you stole my face!"

Kagome mumbled something completely undecipherable, but it seemed to satisfy Kiki, who squealed and gave the other girl a hug.

"I love you! You're like the twin I never had!"

Kagome disentangled herself and backed off slowly.

When it became evident that Kiki wasn't playing again, the crowd almost instantly dispersed to other forms of entertainment. Sam, Molly, Kagome, and Kiki found each other when they were gone.

"We found out how to reverse the spell!" Molly announced.

"Good," Kagome said, still keeping her distance from Kiki and her fatal hugs. "So how do we do it?"

"Well, we have to get-" Sam stopped, her eyes widening.

"Where's Inuyasha?"

Everyone looked around. Neither the haori- clad boy nor the Japanese Kagome was anywhere to be seen.

"Stupid inappropriately- placed romance scenes!" Kiki cursed.

"No, it can't be. If it were a fanfiction romance we would be somewhere near water, and the moon would be full. Right now, it's about eleven in the morning, and I think the water fountain in the lobby's broken."

Kagome gave Molly a thankful look.

"Knowing Inuyasha, he's either killing something, hanging out in a tree, or eating."

"And since Kagome's with him and there's nothing to kill…"

"Let's check the food court."

"/Pizza is better than Ramen/"

Four of the five girls stared in blatant disbelief. The Japanese Kagome didn't, because she was too busy with her own slice.

"How did you guys even get that?"

Kagome held out a few coins from her pocket. They were yen, and due to the fact that no one working at Sbarros had any idea what the yen- to – dollar exchange rate was, each slice had been about three bucks. But pizza is worth it.

"/Pizza is good./"

"Okay, you guys, be serious for one second. We know how to get you home."

"Maybe."

"/Well? Out with it, how are you guys ending us back home/"

"We think if we get Kiki to say the words backwards, it'll work."

"/So say them already/"

Kiki looked up at her favorite bishie with tears in her eyes. Risking death or possibly worse, she wrapped her arms around him in one of her infamous hugs.

"I'll never forget you!" she cried. Inuyasha tried to back up out of her grasp and found that her grip was too good.

"/Yes yes, whatever, just say the stupid words! I wanna go home/"

"Sam, what do I say?"

Quickly writing down the words on a napkin, Sam reversed the letters and handed the results to Kiki, who read them off.

"Sayanara," Kagome said. The other gave a little wave. Inuyasha just crossed his arms and didn't look at the girls.

And then, just like that… they were gone.

"Where'd they go?" Kiki asked, waving her hands through the air where the three teens had just stood.

"Back to where they belong," Sam answered.

There was a long pause, filled only by the steady chatter of the mall.

"Ooh! New stuff at Suncoast!" Kiki announced, bouncing off.

Molly and Sam exchanged looks, shaking their heads and smiling slightly.

Some things will just never change, no matter what.

THE END

Yes, bow to me, Ruler of Unclimactic Endings. FEAR ME!

Yeah, well, there's a reason for the lack of climax. I've had PLENTLY of climax for today. I got my grades (3.6, YAY FOR ME!) and got my internet time increased. Plus, I was walking to a play at my school and I kinda sorta got a little bit hit by a car. The police came and everything. So yeah, that's all the excitement I can handle.


End file.
